Alhamdulillah . 
semoga ini permulaan yang baik . 
segala puji bagi-Mu ya Allah :')

teach me how to be patient .

feeling like creating my very own world , not allowing anyone to step in . just me . alone . 

kadang-kadang susah lah nk jaga hati orang ni .
sampai hati sendiri
calar-balar .
koyak-rabak .

can ah ?

when will it end ?

their hope is too high ....... 
i
just
can't

T_T


i don't know what else to say . i just can't let them be disappointed AGAIN . they keep on reminding me to not stay long here in Malaysia (bukan x sayang tapi nk suruh fly , in case salah paham) . tiap kali call skrg ni asyik ckp tu je T.T
Ma , Ayah , me wanna fly too . that's my dream since imma small child . sungguh , akak nk fly sangat sangat . badly want it , more than u do . but i'm sick of putting high hope which in the end i'll crash into pieces (or even dust) if i can't achieve it . i know that both of u taknak akak lalai n keep on running (instead of walking) on the right track BUT that's not the way . i need ur support in this mean of time . i can barely accept the fact that i'm still here tho . by saying "jangan stay lama kat sini" in every phone call really put high pressure on me . i hardly hold tears when i talk to Ma n Ayah :'(

please , i can't stand with this anymore . i feel like crying everyday . HELP ME   T.T

"Let go of ur grudges .

Let the bitterness die tonight .

Make a decision today that it's time to move on .

And begin again .

New , this time .

Never forget that what has passed you by was never meant to befall you .

And what has befallen you , was never meant to pass you by .

Know that sometimes Allah withholds from you , 

in order to give you something better .

Keep your heart focused on Him , 

and He will take care of the rest .

And remember : you'll stumble ,

but that's part of the path .

Keep going .

Keep rising ,

and refuse to give up ."

Yasmin Mogahed