ease me , Ya Allah :'(

i know that You won't test me with something that i can't bear . 

i'm praying that You'll give me strength to face this and for me to stand up again .. i really need courage n strength to do so ..

i don't wanna disappoint my parents anymore :'(

ya Allah , please ease my journey ...

I just can't ...

I just can't see their disappointed faces

I just can't bear facing them in front of me

I just can't lift up my face

I just can't hold my tears

I just can't stand alone

I just can't , seriously I just can't ...

:'(

cry me a river

you know what , the bad thing is to see ur parents sad . 

the worse thing is that u know that they are sad , but they hide it , just to comfort u .

the worst thing is they sad because of you !

yes , i just did that to my parents . 

because my result has crushed their hopes .

i feel sucks

T_T

choice

i'm not a type of person who can easily makes a decision . i'm difficult . and now i have to make decision regarding my future . it makes me feel miserable . i need guidance :'(

among the 5 choices of uni , i need to narrow them into 2 . lots of things need to be considered when that place will be ur second home , where u'll spend another 4-5 years (yeah not sure yet but i hope my result allows me to fly there)  . i'm thinking of my ATAR , the environment there , ranking of the universities , cost of living , accommodation , weather , friends that i know , distance from malaysia (which the fare of the flight is lower so that i can go home often :p) , and many more . 

on top of all , my ATAR would be my primary consideration . therefore melbourne n UNSW obviously out of my list -,- so now i have 3 choices , UQ , UWA and Adelaide . if i'm considering the ranking , i'd choose UQ and UWA .

cost of living : i'd choose Adelaide . n i'll get confuse for my second preference -,-

weather : i won't choose UQ . thus my choices will be UWA n Adelaide .

friends : UWA won't be in my list

distance from malaysia : the one n only , UWA . n i don't know whether to choose UQ or Adelaide as my second choice .

nah , so now which uni should i choose ??? T.T

maafkan aku

maafkan aku .
kerna aku jahil .

maafkan aku .
kerna melalaikan .

maafkan aku .
andai mengecewakan .

maafkan aku .
kerna mengabaikan .

maafkan aku .
kerna menyakiti .

maafkan aku .
kerna memberi harapan .

maafkan aku .
atas segala kata yg tidak terluah .

maafkan aku .
jika kau anggap aku meninggalkan .

kerna aku ingin menjaga hati ini .

 maafkan aku .